Summer Adventures

In 6 and a half weeks I will be entering the world of full time work / study once more. I will be on placement 3 days a week, and studying 3 days a week. I will go from spending all day every day with my yummy daughter to being without her most days.

And so, this summer, our final 6 weeks of freedom together with no work or study, we will aim for many adventures.

If you’re in the North West of England, comment and let me know if there’s something near you that is worth visiting with a 2.5 year old.

(Our first adventure, local beach sunset.)

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D-Day

I thought I’d take to mothering like a duck takes to water.
In reality, though, mothering (and parenting) is hard. It’s not natural, or stress free. Someone this week described it to me as your own heart suddenly wandering around outside of your own body – there’s only so much you can do to protect it. There’s only so much you can do for it, because it is not physically part of you. 

I literally never thought this day would come. Ever. 

I always thought I’d be a full time stay at home mummy and housewife.

In reality, though, I am starting work tomorrow morning. New school. New children. New chapter. And that’s ok. It really is. I mean, I have the same new job jitters that everyone has, but I know I will be fine. I haven’t forgotten how to teach. I haven’t forgotten how to speak to other human beings.

In reality, I am looking forward to work, and having my own freedom. I am looking forward to being known as someone other than mummy. I am looking forward to having a different kind of responsibility.

I never thought this day would come.

I Am Mummy

Hi ho! Hi ho! It’s off to work I go.

Yes, that’s right. The time has come for me to leave this delightful creature as I re-enter the world of work.

I am nervous and anxious, but also excited and happy. It’s actually almost 3 weeks yet, but I’m off on holiday soon and I start as soon as I’m back from France. So it feels as though it is right there in front of me: the day I leave my gorgeous girl.

Ok. Maybe I’m being a little melodramatic. For starters, it’s only 1 day a week. Secondly, it isn’t like she’s being taken by wolves into the woods to be raised away from me. It is literally 9 hours apart, perhaps 10 at a push. 

Except… even writing that makes me want to cry. Because, in a way, just as she is dependent on me, I have become dependent on her.

I live to see her smiles; to hear her giggles; to watch her trying to crawl; to hold her close and inhale her scent. I live to provide comfort, to play peek-a-boo, to sing Wind the Bobbin Up 100 times a day. I live to love her.

Of course, I am more than ‘mummy’. I know that. I am a wife, a daughter, sister, friend. I am Mrs Haines, and I am a writer. A teacher. A singer. But above all these things…

I am mummy.