Moments to Melt the Heart

This evening, after my husband had bathed our daughter and put her sleepsuit on, he was playing with her in our living room. It’s wonderful to watch them together, such mischief in both their eyes. Something happened, though, that has never happened before.

My gorgeous girl turned to look at me, practised her newest skill (sticking her tongue out), before reaching her arm out and waving at me. She kept doing it, and making little cooing sounds.

My heart melted, and I cried.

In that moment, every wakeful night, every stressful worry, every tearful doubt was worth it.

Pleasure

Pleasure: enjoyment, happiness, or satisfaction, or something that gives this.

What gives us enjoyment? What gives us happiness? Or satisfaction? I think they’re very different things, actually. For example, cooking for friends and family does bring me enjoyment, yes, but is that the same as the satisfaction of a new skill learned? Are either of those things equal to the joy that fills my heart when I hear my daughter’s gurgling laugh?

Does it matter?

Surely, what matters is the experiences of life, whether they’re pleasurable or not. Some of the biggest lessons I’ve learned have come from my biggest challenges, times that were anything but filled with happiness. But those times are not now. Now I am learning new things, but in a different way.

A fortnight ago, I wrote about seasons for everything. Right now I’m in a season of joy. It’s a tired season, of new parenthood and broken nights, but it’s a season of great joy all the same. I find pleasure in my daughter; watching her sleep and feed; listening to her chatter; laughing with her and playing alongside her. She is filled with a joy that overflows, like a babbling brook.

As a friend reminded me this morning, what’s better than loving our children?

Nothing.