Today at college we’re learning about the Psalter (collection of psalms) in the Bible. They’re so rich in language and imagery. In fact, Tom Wright argues that to ignore the psalms is akin to taking someone to the top of Table Mountain and them refusing to look at the view, preferring to stare down at their phone.
In their richness, they give us language to approach God with all of our emotions… particularly the bad and the ugly.
When I was at my lowest point postnatally, I wrote a psalm myself. It felt appropriate to repost it today. So here it is.
It is really hard. We are told that what we look like doesn’t really matter. After all, our identity is in Christ and the cross. But still, we want to look nice. Well, I do!
Up until about the age of 23 I could eat absolutely anything, in large quantities, and not expand my waistline. Since then my weight has yo-yoed, as I’ve gone through phases of jogging and watching what I eat before slipping back into my old crisp-loving ways. But when I was pregnant everything changed.
I loved my pregnant body. I mean, there were days in the early stages where I just felt plump, but as I grew bigger I loved my body more. I was in awe of what my body was doing and how it was sustaining new life. I was tired, and achey, but loved my bump… especially once I could see my little one’s movements as well as feeling them.
Since my bump has gone, I’ve felt a little uneasy and have lost confidence again. I actually lost weight during pregnancy, so I’m making sure I don’t put it back on. When I put on clothes I loved pre-pregnancy, I can’t help but feel they look all wrong. Why am I so bothered about how I look to other people?
Let’s look at what the Bible says. It says that I am fearfully and wonderfully made; it says God knitted me together in my mother’s womb; it says that beauty comes from within, from my spirit.
If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I’m glad my beholder is God. He looks at me, and he says:
“You are beautiful.”