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Love, Parenting

Happy Valentines Day!

Certain things change when you have a baby… your body, your hair, and, perhaps the biggest change, your relationship with your partner. 

Previous years together have been about dressing up, going out and even the odd night away. Now though, it’s 7.45pm and I can hear my husband through the monitor. He is singing to our daughter, to aid her in her sleeping. Oblivious to this, she is chatting to him.

This is pretty typical. We make plans, and then they have to change. It is just the way of parenthood. We went for a meal – a date night – in the autumn, and I made a reservation for 8.15pm. I thought that would leave us plenty of time, as she goes to sleep at 7.30pm. On that night, for whatever reason, she wouldn’t go down, and we made it to the restaurant for 9pm. It was still a wonderful night, with food, drink, chatting and laughter… but it didn’t quite go to plan.

Once you have children, romance changes. Notice I said changes there, not dies. Because it needn’t die. Not at all. If anything, my love for my husband has expanded since our little girl was born. We probably fall out more, due to exhaustion and more mess around the house, but gosh do I love him. And so, we must find a different way to ‘do’ romance: less concrete plans, more flexibility; less dining out, more sofa cuddles.

Ok, so I haven’t exactly got my glad rags on, nor a full face of makeup. But I’ve washed my hair, and set the table for a beautiful 3 course meal. Love might look different, once you’ve had a baby, but it’s just stuff on the outside. On the inside, my heart still beats quickly when my husband winks at me; I still beam with delight when he tells me he loves me; I still long for stolen moments at the end of a long day. The stuff on the inside is still the same, even if the outward appearance has changed.

After all is said and done, it’s the stuff on the inside that’s important. It’s the stuff on the inside we should cling to.

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